Camouflaging/CAM-oh-flaj-ing/

Camouflaging encompasses three main strategies neurodivergent people use to navigate neurotypical spaces:

Compensation: Developing workarounds for differences

• Creating scripts for social situations
• Using logic to decode emotions others read intuitively
• Developing rules for interactions others navigate naturally

Masking: Actively hiding neurodivergent traits

• Suppressing stims or converting them to less visible ones
• Forcing eye contact despite discomfort
• Mimicking neurotypical body language and expressions

Assimilation: Copying neurotypical behaviors

• Adopting others' interests to fit in
• Imitating speech patterns and social styles
• Mirroring others' emotional responses

Camouflaging often begins in childhood as a survival response to criticism, bullying, or rejection. Over time, it becomes automatic but remains exhausting, requiring constant mental energy to maintain.

Everyday Life Examples

School: Emma memorizes classmates' interests to have "normal" conversations, forces herself not to rock when anxious, and practices facial expressions in the mirror. Teachers praise her for "fitting in so well."

Work: Marcus has scripts for water cooler chat, suppresses his need to pace while thinking, and forces eye contact in meetings despite the pain. Colleagues never guess he's autistic.

Social: Alex studies sitcoms to learn "appropriate" responses, hides their special interests, and mimics friends' energy levels. Friends think they're "just shy" not realizing the effort required.

Practical Strategies

Reducing camouflaging need:

• Seek neurodivergent-friendly spaces
• Disclose to trusted people when safe
• Set boundaries around social demands
• Schedule recovery time after camouflaging

Safer unmasking:

• Start with small reveals to safe people
• Practice saying "I need a break"
• Find one space where you don't mask
• Connect with neurodivergent community

Managing when camouflaging is necessary:

• Limit duration when possible
• Use minimal masking (just enough to be safe)
• Build in recovery time
• Remember: survival isn't failure

Quick Tips

• Today: Notice one trait you hide and consider if it's necessary
• This week: Find one person or place where you can unmask slightly
• This month: Track energy costs of different masking situations
• Long-term: Build life requiring less camouflaging

The neurodivergent community recognizes camouflaging as:

• A trauma response, not a choice
• A major contributor to burnout and mental health issues
• More common in those diagnosed late, especially women and marginalized groups
• Sometimes necessary for safety but always costly

Community wisdom emphasizes: "The goal isn't to never camouflage, but to need to less often and have spaces where you don't need to at all."

Do / Don't

Do's

• Recognize camouflaging as a survival strategy
• Respect people's decisions about when to mask
• Create spaces where masking isn't needed
• Validate the exhaustion camouflaging causes

Don'ts

• Don't praise someone for "passing" as neurotypical
• Don't assume someone isn't struggling because they mask well
• Don't pressure someone to unmask before they're ready
• Don't minimize the cost of camouflaging

For Families and Caregivers

When your family member masks less around you, it's a sign of trust, not regression. They're showing you their real self.

Supporting unmasking:

• Accept stimming and different communication styles
• Don't comment on "weird" behaviors
• Reduce social demands where possible
• Create a safe unmasking space at home
• Understand meltdowns may increase initially when someone stops suppressing

For Schools and Workplaces

Educators: Students who seem fine may be camouflaging at enormous cost. Allow movement, different interaction styles, and breaks. Don't praise masking as "good behavior."

Employers: Camouflaging contributes to neurodivergent burnout and turnover. Reduce need through:

• Clear, direct communication expectations
• Flexible work arrangements
• Sensory-friendly spaces
• Acceptance of different working styles

Intersectionality & Variation

• Gender: Women and non-binary people often face higher camouflaging pressure
• Race: People of color may camouflage to avoid additional discrimination
• Class: Those without diagnosis access may camouflage for survival
• Culture: Collectivist cultures may demand more social camouflaging
• Age: Camouflaging ability may decrease with age and exhaustion

Related Terms

• Masking - Often used interchangeably with camouflaging
• Unmasking - The process of reducing camouflaging
• Autistic Burnout - Often results from prolonged camouflaging
• Stimming - Self-regulatory behaviors often suppressed when camouflaging