Demand Avoidance (contextualized)/de-MAND a-VOI-duns/
Strong avoidance of demands, often increasing with perceived loss of autonomy, novelty, or uncertainty.

Andy says:
When everything feels like a must, the nervous system can hit the brakes. More choice and safety can bring the green light back.
Detailed Explanation
Demand avoidance can reflect anxiety, threat responses, executive load, monotropism (deep focus elsewhere), or sensory/uncertainty costs. Approaches centered on autonomy, collaboration, and predictable choices are more effective than control or punishment. This entry uses a neutral, needs‑based frame.
Community Context
Some communities use “PDA” (Pathological Demand Avoidance). It is debated in research and services. Many prefer needs‑based language (autonomy‑focused support) over pathologizing labels.
Quick Tips
- Offer choices; turn demands into invitations with clear rationale
- Lower uncertainty (visual steps, time windows); give warm‑ups before transitions
- Co‑create goals; use interest‑based entry points
Do / Don't
- Do: collaborate; offer opt‑ins and predictable options
- Do: validate autonomy needs; chunk tasks; reduce surprises
- Don't: escalate control; don’t take no personally; avoid power struggles
Scripts (Examples)
- "Would you like to start with A or B? We can pause after 10 minutes."
- "Here’s why this matters; how shall we approach it so it works for you?"
- "Tell me what would make this easier—timers, breaks, or music?"
Scientific Context
Evidence is mixed; profiles of demand avoidance overlap with anxiety, autistic traits, and executive differences. Autonomy‑supportive methods show promise across settings.
Language Notes
This entry avoids pathologizing terms; local services may use different labels. Focus on needs and supports.
Related Terms
Executive Dysfunction
Difficulties with a set of mental skills that include working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control.
Autistic Burnout
A state of intense physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion experienced by autistic people.
Masking
Consciously or unconsciously hiding one's neurodivergent traits to fit in with neurotypical expectations.
Monotropism
A theory that autistic attention tends to focus deeply on a small number of interests at a time, shaping perception, learning, and overwhelm.
Accommodations
Changes to the environment, tools, timing, or expectations that remove barriers so a person can participate on an equal basis.
Sources
Help Improve This Term
NDlexicon is community-driven. Your contributions help make definitions more accurate and accessible.